The Wedding Gift - The Half Set of Ware

"The half set is not of any great worth or value but the story that goes with it, is in my opinion, priceless and shows Irish life in times of hardship and crisis and shows extreme choices made by people in a different Ireland than we are lucky enough to live in today. In 1906, my grandmothers’ sister, Johanna got married to Daniel O’Sullivan. It was a time of great change for Ireland and the world in general. My grandparents purchased what was in those days would have been and extravert wedding gift to celebrate the nuptials of her sister Johanna. One can only imagine the start to a married life in the early 1900’s with a proper set of Crown Albert Royal China. It must have been a gift (given the expense) that she would have thought would last them a lifetime. We can tell from later events as they unfold that they was extremely proud that they could provide my grandmothers sister with such a gift. Life was good, for a time, and one can only imagine a newly married couple inviting my grandparents for afternoon tea to say thank you for such a great gift all served on the half set of ware. Their marriage proved fruitful when on the 23rd of July 1909 they were blessed by the birth of a beautiful baby girl which they named Ellen, and on the 9th of March 1909 a son named Daniel completed what seemed like the perfect family. Life however is often cruel and lays waste to man’s best laid plan at times. Who knows when your life can get dumped upside down and leave your choices just out of your reach. Unfortunately for Johanna that is exactly what happened. On the 24th of January 1909 when her beloved husband Daniel died. Ireland in the early 20th Century was an unforgiving place and a widowed mother was not cradled in the bosom of mother Irelands welfare state as she would have been today. For Johanna, the were no choices. poverty is the lack of choice. Survive or die. In a world very different than our Ireland today Johanna needed a way to feed her family and herself. Luckily, fortune of sorts shone upon her to ease her frustration. She found love again with Denis Cull who worked locally as a labourer. Finding love was difficult as any young bachelor would want to start a family of his own. Denis Cull loved Johanna and Johanna loved Denis, simple it was not. Denis insisted that if Johanna and he were to marry then he would not rare some other man’s children. Johanna was faced with choices that were not easy for us to understand today. The chance of re-marriage gave her options. Access into society, away from poverty, social inclusion and of course the love a man she loved. Giving up her children must have meant heartache, remorse, guilt and regret and the inevitable backlash from her own family and from her first husbands family. Johanna did make the choice to give up her children and married Denis Cull on the 30th of July 1911. Her son Daniel (2 years old) was placed in care at St Joseph’s Industrial School Greenmount here in Cork, while her daughter Ellen (4 years old) was placed with in The Good Shepard Convent also here in Cork. They did not even get the opportunity to stay together but lived out their childhood in those institutions. Ellen once old enough to leave the God Shepard’s having been raised in a convent then herself became a nun and was for the rest of her life known as Sr. Birchman. This choice did not go down well with my grandparents, who upon hearing of Johanna’s choice marched into her house and demanded the half-set of ware back. They obviously thought that such a wonderfully extravagant gift was not to be wasted on the likes of a woman who would give up her own kids, who after all, were their niece and nephew. So there the half-set stayed with my grandfather John and his wife Margaret Mc Carthy until their deaths in 1954 and 1958 respectively. There upon it was left to their daughter Hanna Mc Carthy who at which time lived in England. Hanna either did not want to risk breaking it in transit or possibly pay for shipping expenses so she asked instead if her brother Christy and his wife Maureen would take it into their home. There is sat on the dresser of Christy Mc Carthy until his marriage to Maureen failed. Christy did not want to leave this prized family heirloom to Maureen and so he asked Hanna the rightful owner to take it back. Hanna who still lived in England had no mind for it so she asked me to hold onto it. It has stayed in my attic for decades. I tell the story now to my children and grandchildren and recall the fuss over the half set of ware. Later when Johanna’s daughter Ellen, who was place with the good Shepard’s back in 1911 visited my home, I showed it to her. She was by then known as Sr. Birchman who had spent her childhood in the Good Shepard’s and her adult life in the convent as a nun. Sr Birchman was thrilled to see it and was pleased I had it still. It is still a family heirloom now and I will pass it on when I am gone along with its unique story which I am sure will outlast us all. "